


I Found

by theroomstops



Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018)
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-30 03:56:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20808137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theroomstops/pseuds/theroomstops
Summary: “How?” His voice was soft. Breathy. Clearly still processing the news.“It’s complicated. And it’s a rather long story.” He turned as she spoke. Somewhat afraid to look at her as he stared at his shoes, before daring to look up and allowing himself to really take her in.Seven long weeks pass. And then he finds his love where he never expected to. (David and Julia post-canon, but she survived.)





	I Found

**Author's Note:**

> Everything happened as it did on the show, except for one major difference, because Julia Montague is alive. This is set at Christmas, so it might seem silly to post it now, but… you know. It’s rather long and it’s kind of soft soft and I hope you’re cuddled up for the weekend with a snack and a cup of something nice.

_And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be_  
Right in front of me  
Talk some sense to me 

Julia had been careless. Too focused on enjoying the first real whiff of fresh air she’d had in far too long. Caught up in the first sight of people in weeks, and enthralled by the Christmas decorations on the booth selling mulled wine in the little square. It had been so brief, taking off her scarf and sunglasses to let the cold winter air caress her deprived skin for just a second. She thought she had seen him earlier, in the bakery, but when she’d taken a second look it had appeared to be merely her imagination. Of course it would have been, she’d chastised herself. She imagined him often at home, so why wouldn’t she do the same in crowds? Except, he was supposed to be in London. The last update from her mother’s private investigator said he had taken his children to school that morning. But now there he was, standing on her doorstep. Breathless and trembling as he leaned against the frame. Still so dangerously handsome, his lips quivering as he made a few brief attempts to say something. She wasn’t surprised. She’d imagined him finding her many times, and even in her fantasies, he always struggled to find the words. After all, what does one even say when you find your supposedly dead lover on the other side of the country?

David had run. Thrown the Costa cup in the nearest bin and kept her in his line of sight as she moved. Had apologized to his cousin Ruth in a hurry and claimed to have forgotten he had promised his mother... something. Ran until he almost caught up with her and followed behind her closely. He couldn’t even remember what his excuse had been now. Not when she was standing right in front of him. Alive. Breathing. Breathtakingly beautiful. He’d followed her walk through wooden paths back to a little cottage surrounded by trees and branches. He imagined it probably looked amazing in the spring. Imagined her relaxing in the sunshine with a book. And now, there she was, clad in soft blush pink cashmere and blue jeans. Her hair slightly longer and more naturally curled than in the pictures of the impeccable Julia Montague that had so often haunted him via the newspapers and investigation materials. Her face had stared back at him, eyes boring into his soul, in the weeks following her death, as he’d slowly tried to find his way in the maze that was the aftermath of her assassination. Presumed assassination. He’d thought later that maybe he’d made up the way her face seemed to soften when she looked at him. Maybe he’d needed her to remain the light he’d thought her to be, unsullied by whatever would come out of the investigation. But no, staring back at him now was the same soft look that had turned every opinion he’d held of her previously, into lies.

He took long, careful step into the warm cottage she had tried to make a home in, and closed the door behind him. His face a good mix of joy and disbelief as he turned, his hand still holding onto the door handle. Maybe he was giving himself the chance to run, Julia thought briefly, as David leaned against the door and she finally heard his voice.

“_How_?” His voice was soft. Breathy. Clearly still processing the news.

“It’s complicated. And it’s a rather long story.” He turned as she spoke. Somewhat afraid to look at her as he stared at his shoes, before daring to look up and allowing himself to really take her in.

“I... have time.” He shrugged helplessly, tears beginning to form in the corner of his eyes.

“You're still in shock.“ His face fell, his hand shaking slightly as he began to remove his coat. Julia lowered her voice, meeting his eyes as he looked at her. “I _will_ tell you, David. When you're not looking at me as if I'm a ghost.”

“I...” He closed his eyes. Took a deep breath; in through his nose and out through his mouth. And then again. And again. And then he opened his eyes and seeing that she was still there, still standing in front of him, he let the tears fall.

David closed the space between them as he pulled her into his arms, wrapping her completely in his embrace as he shook and sobbed quietly. His tears staining her cheeks as he held onto her. “I thought I’d lost you.”

Julia let go of the breath she'd held. Let her body unclench as she let him pull her closer. His breath tickling her ear. He felt warm and strong and everything she’d remembered and held onto as she had fallen asleep alone the last several weeks. So she let him cry. Let herself cry too, as she stood there envelope in his muscular arms. Her arms wrapped around his neck, his hands splayed against her back. Everything she’d longed for. Feeling at last safe from the bizarre circumstances that had led them to that very moment.

“I missed you _so_ much.” Julia whispered into his sweater, muffled by threads of wool. David sobbed against her neck. A short puff of breath and then more tears fell as he held her as close as he possibly could.

David felt the tension that had built in his body let go a little. Felt like he could breathe a little easier. Felt a little lighter even, as he felt her body against his. Lightheaded and warm all over. When he finally pulled away, it was only because he needed to catch his breath.

She wiped the falling tears that stained his cheek while his jaw trembled, and she saw him pull himself together as he licked his lips and tried to breathe.

“How did you end up here?” His voice was soft, his hands warm against her cheek as she leaned into it.

“Ah, that.”

“My mother grew up down the road.”

“I remember.” David seemed surprised at that. His hand pulled on her jumper as he continued to draw deep, cleansing breaths. “You said she’d always told you that where she grew up was safe to live, but far too quiet. So it sounded like a good place for me to stay.”

“She spends Christmas here almost every year. My aunts and uncles live nearby.”

“Yes. Every time I look out on the street and see someone walking by, I wonder if it’s her. If I see someone that looks a bit like you.” David swallowed the breath that stuck in his throat as he sniffed. “I know it won’t be, but I do it anyway.” She paused and bit her lip. Thinking for a bit as she looked at him. His eyes glistened with tears, as he looked at her tenderly, waiting for her to continue. Her throat felt thick and her chest tight as she allowed herself to wear her heart on her sleeve again. “And then I’ll think about you. Lying in that bed with you, safe from everything that was waiting for us outside of those doors... And somehow, thinking about you makes me feel less alone.”

“Julia...”

“David, I’m sor—“ She had meant to apologize, to find a place to start to explain herself. But then his body felt so warm and his lips so soft as he pressed himself against her, every beautiful inch of him, and her body tingled with the memory of every time he’d done the same thing in the past. Except now she found herself lodged between him and the wooden pole that separated her tiny cottage into a kitchen and a living room, and there was something desperate in his kiss that she couldn't remember from before. One hand on her neck, his fingers playing with her hair, she could just barely feel the tickle of it. His hair was different too. A little shorter, a little less done than she remembered it. Curlier, as if he’s stepped out of the shower and not done anything to it. She’d loved watching him get out of the shower at the Blackwood. Waited for him more than once with bated breath before he’d finally grin and throw his towel away. Pinning her to the bed, naked and ready, in the hopes they had time for a quickie before the day really began.

Fingertips moved across his head as she let her fingers run through his curls, re-committing him to her muscle memory. David’s lips tasted like hot chocolate, like Christmas in a kiss, and Julia leaned back against the pole as he melted into her. He sought her mouth again and again, and she never wanted it to stop. She closed her eyes when his lips finally left hers, replaced with a soft breath mingling with hers, one that also smelled of chocolate.

“You’re real. I can see you, I can _feel_ you, and it’s not a dream. You’re here with me.” His eyes shone as he talked. He seemed unable to stop smiling, not at all able to hold back his emotions.

“David, I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t care.” He brushed her off with another kiss.

“No, I lied to you. Again. I didn’t want there to be--” His hands were a little rough against her cheek as they caressed her face, holding it between them as he looked at her firmly and spoke with determination.

“I don’t care, Julia.” A single finger traced along her jaw. “You’re alive. You’re...” His words caught in his throat. “... _alive_ and that is _all_ that matters.”

She smiled, looking down at the floor as she collected herself. More tears had fallen from his eyes when she looked at him again, and she brushed them away carefully.

“Why are you in Scotland? I would have thought you’d be in London for the holidays. Your children must be so excited for Christmas.” She smiled softly, preparing herself to hear him say his wife and children awaited him... somewhere. Somewhere where presents lay waiting for Christmas morning and matching family pajamas lay ready for that evening. Just as he’d described one time over a late night glass of wine when they’d shared their accounts of vastly different experiences of the holiday.

“The kids are with Vicky.” He smiled cheekily. “And aye, they are excited. I FaceTimed with them this morning.”

“So you’re not? With them?” She knew she had no real right to the twinge of jealousy that coursed through her veins at the thought of the pretty blonde. But the videos of him in an empty park telling another woman he loved her still played in the back of her mind. She was a little surprised when she looked for traces of sadness in his eyes and didn’t find any.

“I’m not. We’re meeting with our lawyer over New Years. It’s time to finalize our divorce.” David noted the little smile that tugged on Julia’s lips as he said the word divorce. His own lips resisting the urge to follow her lead as he took her hand. “Vicky took the kids to see her family for Christmas because her dad couldn’t travel, so I came up here to spend some time with my mum. Didn’t want her to be alone for the holidays.”

“I’m sure she appreciates that.”

“Aye, I thought she would, but I’ve barely seen her since I arrived. She’s got quite the social calendar.” She laughed a little. He pressed his lips to hers as he closed his eyes. Taking her in. He’d missed the smell of her. The sounds. The little sigh as his mouth left hers. He missed that. “But I should call. Tell her I won’t be back tonight. She’ll worry if I don’t.”

Julia nodded, and stepped back towards the living room as David reached into his pocket for his phone. She felt a hand grab hers and pull her back. His fingers playing with hers as he held the phone to his ear.

_\- Hi mum. No, they didn’t have mincemeat at the bakery. But I ran into an old friend, I thought I might stay at theirs for a drink. Might just stay over. Yes, the key is under the post box, I know. Give my love to Uncle Sam and Aunt Kathleen. --_

“There’s a game night.” He explained as he left the phone on the table by the door. He didn’t want anything disrupting him tonight if he could help it.

“And you’re not one for playing?”

“Not with that cheating lot.” Julia chuckled, and soon David did too. He backed her against the wooden pole again as he stole another kiss, one hand running through her hair as he studied her face. Save for a few healing bruises and cuts, there would be nothing for him to see. Her body felt the effects of pain more than it bore the signs of it. But today had been a good day. Hence the walk. And her miracle.

“Who else knows you’re here?”

“My mother, and only because she arranged it. She set everything up, and she calls once a week to check in. Only a few people know that I’m even alive, and I assume Roger has enacted iron clad NDAs. And now, you.”

“Tell me what happened now. I need to know.” She nodded, taking his hand in hers as she led him to the living room.

He took a seat on the chic, navy sofa by the window, looking at her pleadingly as she sat down across from him. She sat still on the sofa table for just a moment, before standing up again to grab two glasses and a bottle of wine from the fridge. Telling him that a 64-year-old woman had singlehandedly initiated faking her daughter’s death, threatened her former son in law into submission, and by extension some of his allies, fooling parts of the British Government... That felt as if it required some wine.

David thought of Roger’s mourning husband act. Of the ire he felt whenever he’d woken up to yet another interview about the great Julia Montague told from the mouth of a man. A man that didn’t know her at all. Specifically one that tried to make her smaller every chance he had. And then he felt thankful. For Julia’s mother and even for Roger Penhaligon. That she was sitting across from him.

She wasn’t sure if it was the wine or the fact that he never took his eyes off her, but as she began to share the insanity that had unfolded over the last few weeks, she finally began to feel that nervous shake begin to ease. Every sentence spoken a little more confidently, a little less apprehensive. He’d found her and he’d stayed. Maybe her memories of their time together weren’t as built up in her head as she had feared they were, because he was giving her no signs of wanting to run, even as her story became much more intricate. His eyes bulged as she described the threads of conspiracy she suspected still remained, ones she thought they hadn't found yet. He gave her a sad smile as she told him she'd worried he'd end up killed because of his entanglement with her. That all her fears that someone had known their secret had been confirmed when she'd seen the bomb strapped to his chest.

He laughed a little when she told him the fake name and passport they had acquired for her. “You don't really look like a Lindsay E. Denton. But the middle name fits.”

They sipped on wine, she answered the questions that she had the answers to, and when she had finished, David sat back and took deep breaths as he watched the fire. “I wanted to kill Roger. His little mourning husband tour. Playing the part. Everyone feeling so fucking sorry for him.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. Roger and I... it’s complicated. There was love there once. And as much as we drive each other mad now, he did help.” She took his hand as she slid onto the sofa next to him, and pressed a kiss to his knuckles as he continued taking deep breaths. “Are you hungry?”

He nodded. Julia let go of his hand, and stood up from the sofa. She was pleasantly surprised to find him joining her as she strolled into her little kitchen.

David watched with eager curiosity as she pulled eggs, mayo and a packet of smoked salmon from the fridge. In the time they’d spent together, he’d never seen her so much as toast a piece of bread, and he’d arrived at the assumption that she relied heavily on the various take out menus that had hung over the kitchen counter in her old flat.

“I’m not the best cook, but I do make a decent sandwich.”

“Egg salad sandwiches, with smoked salmon? My mum would like this.” David walked closer, so close that Julia could feel his presence behind her. He placed his hands on the counter each side of her as he spoke, softly. “Her dad used to smoke salmon at home when she was a bairn. In that gray little house where the broken water bath is.”

“Is that all it would take to get to the heart of your liberal Scottish mother?” Julia smirked as she carefully lowered the eggs into the bubbling water.

“Doesn’t hurt.” His lips lightly ghosted the side of her neck, and she set a timer for 8 minutes before leaning into his embrace.

They stood that way for the next 8 minutes. His arms wrapped around her, holding on tightly, as if she might fly away if he dared to let go. Both watching as the water bubbled around the eggs. Julia let her head rest again David’s upper arm, the soft boiling muffled by thick wool and his head leaned against hers. She’d almost fallen asleep by the time the timer buzzed and broke the spell of quiet domesticity in her little cottage. In quick maneuvers, she’d replaced the boiling water with cold, left the eggs to cool and popped four pieces of bread in the toaster. All with his unyielding arms around her waist as his body followed hers closely, as if it were a dance. 

“Fire’s almost out.” David yawned against her cheek as he watched her crack the shell and begin to peel the eggs.

“Go fix the fire, I’ll finish the sandwiches.” She chuckled, but David remained still. “David?” She felt his hands stroking against her stomach and his chest drawing heavy breaths as she finally realized he was afraid to leave her side. To lose sight of her again. From what her mother had explained, David had been with her in the ambulance, but hadn’t been allowed to follow her anywhere near the operating theatre. As much as he’d demanded to, desperately pointing out his status as PPO. He had turned away for a second to sign a paper, and she had been gone when he'd turned back. Not even a chance to say a pitiful goodbye. Just gone. Her heart ached for the trauma it seemed to have caused him. She left the half-peeled egg in the water and turned around in his arms. “I won’t disappear if you let go, David.”

She pressed a kiss to his jaw, and another to his lips, even forced a smile to see if it would help ease his worry. He gave her a half-hearted smile, if one could even call it that, and unclasped his hands as he stepped back. David took several deep breaths as his eyes met hers.

She smiled again, genuinely this time. He seemed calmer now, slightly more at ease. He pushed her against the counter, rough, cold hands against her neck as he kissed her. She was a little breathless when he pulled away, a soft smile on his lips as he spoke.

“I like a lot of smoked salmon.”

“I’ll remember that.” She whispered as she kissed the corner of his mouth. She heard him yawn again as he walked away, and she quickly suppressed one of her own before turning to finish the egg salad.

“I don’t know if they would impress your mother, but I am—“ Julia stopped in her tracks, and looked at the man in front of her. Legs curled up underneath him as he hugged a pillow, quick, soft little breaths releasing as David slept soundly. His lips had curled into a smile. She looked at the tray in her hands and didn’t have the heart to wake him from his slumber. She took the sandwiches back to the kitchen and placed them in a food container in the fridge. Carefully placed a blanket over his sleeping form, and then took her place on the opposite sofa. He’d barely moved. She wasn’t tired yet, full of adrenaline and feelings, and felt perfectly content to simply watch as he slept. His eyes would flutter and his toes would curl as he smiled and murmured in his sleep, and apart from the way it made her heart beat a little faster, she was quite sure it was the sweetest thing she’d ever seen.

Julia’s eyes broke open and were met with a pair of startling beautiful blues staring back at her from across the sofa table. The fire crackled in the fireplace as she stretched. The fire looked a lot smaller than it had been when she last saw it, and she realized she’d fallen asleep without meaning to.

“You look beautiful even when you sleep.” David's gruffly voice broke the comfortable silence. Julia adjusted her head against the cushion, and looked at him with half-opened eyes as she smiled.

“Alright, you creep.”

“Tell me I look cute when I sleep too.” He said flirtatiously. He stretched, one hand resting underneath his cheek as his gaze held hers.

“You,” She drew a deep breath. “look like a naughty child when you sleep. Dreaming something filthy, were you?” David grinned, his eyes closing before opening to look at her again and leaving his admission in front of her with a hint of spice.

“Probably dreaming of you. I have done most nights since...”

Julia’s heart beat faster as she looked at his honest face and flirty eyes. Searching for signs of a joke, of whether she was taking his words too seriously. And she found nothing. The corner of her mouth twitched as she suppressed a smile and fired back. “Pervert.”

“Aye, sometimes. They weren’t always like that. Although those were the best ones.”

“Tell me.” He sent her a knowing look, one eyebrow raised at the unexpected turn as he burrowed his face deeper into his pillow.

“They were fantasies or memories, sometimes a mix. Sometimes it was like you were actually touching me. It never felt the same, but it was something. Even though it wasn’t real. Sometimes you'd show up at my door.”

“Naked?” She looked at him pointedly. Curious. Quite intrigued and a little turned on.

“Now who’s the perv? No, dressed.” _‘Sometimes’, he added under his breath_. A satisfied smile spread across her lips, and it took all he had not to leap off the sofa and kiss her at that moment. “I missed you. This doesn’t feel quite real yet.”

Julia bit her lip anxiously and cleared her throat. She pushed herself up, both feet on the carpet underneath that cornered off her living room, and took the few steps it took to get from her sofa to his. David held up half of his blanket as she laid down beside him. The couch was just big enough for him, to say it could fit two was a stretch. And she was thankful for the arm that held her as she snuggled up against him under the warm blanket. His nose nuzzled hers as she settled in his arms, and she wasn’t sure exactly what her legs were tangled up in, but it all felt nice and warm and familiar.

“Very much real.” She hummed against his lips, kissing him slowly as her legs slid between his and his arm pulling her closer.

“Alive and real... and _mine_.” David whispered. Julia looked at him, taking in the enormity of his words. Of the way he’d said _mine_. Leaving no more doubt as to his feelings.

“The worst part was believing I’d never see you again.” She whispered. “I didn’t want to leave, David. I’d just found you, I’d never choose to go away.”

“The worst part was knowing that I never said it back. I never told you how I felt too. I thought we’d have time later.” His voice filled with regret. “I wanted to explain how I...” He choked on his words, thrown back to that night before, and Julia nodded softly. “It had been so dark, and you were the light. Blinding me. Confusing me too. And then it got dark again, and all I knew was that I had to make them pay.” He looked down at her, a sad smile on his face as a tear fell from the corner of his eye onto the side of his face. 

Julia wiped it away as she pressed her lips to his jaw and whispered against his lips. “We have time now.”

His hands moved up from her back to her neck, holding her against him as he let the tears fall freely. She wiped each and every one as they fell, climbing on top of him as she took his face between her hands and made him look at her. Held his gaze, her eyes soft and open and full of love as she watched doubt leave him. A few choked sobs as he kissed her and began to let go of the pain of the past seven weeks.

Julia’s hands roamed David’s chest. Smiling as she felt the beat of his heart beneath her hand. She leaned down and pressed her ear to it, listening as it beat it calm, strong thuds. She’d laid this way before. In the hotel room. In that bed. His heart beating fast and his breath uneven as they both came down from their highs. Then it felt like the beginning of something. Now it felt like the ending of a nightmare. The end of loneliness and hopelessness. She felt a kiss on her forehead as she looked up at him, meeting his lips and breathing him in.

David kissed her slowly. His hands sliding down the small of her back and up again as he savored the feeling of her lips on his. Slipped his tongue between wet lips and his hands beneath blush-colored cashmere.

“Are you warm? We could take this off.” He tugged at the sweater. Pulling it up as Julia smiled against his lips. She sat up, wrangling herself free from the cashmere as he threw it behind them. David sat up with her. Her fingers pulled on the woolen sweater, threw it to the side and began to attempt the same with the t-shirt underneath.

“No bullet proof vest.” She stroked his chest beneath the shirt and David shook his head. She smiled. Breathed softly as she pulled the plain t-shirt off and kissed his neck. Planting kisses down the curve of his chest, along every little dip and every form as she felt the marred skin against her fingers along his back.

“You let your hair grow.” He raked his fingers through her hair, pulling on it slightly as he licked his lips. Slight curls wrapping around his fingers as he pulled on it, gently, exposing her neck to him and adoring her skin with a soft, slow, wet kiss. Her body tingled. “I like it.”

His hands slipped around her back, finding the clasp of the lace bralette, undoing it swiftly as he looked into her eyes. Following the outline of her breasts with his fingers before he dipped and took each nipple in his mouth, flicking his tongue against them until he felt them peak in his mouth. Julia shuddered as he let go, pulling her closer and moving his attention to the rest of her body. He traced the small, healing cuts with his fingers, kissing each one before he pressed one kiss to the corner of her mouth. “So beautiful.”

He kissed her again, hard and determined as he forced her onto her back. Julia bit her lip as David undid one pair of jeans, hers, then his second. Peeling them both off before covering her body with his again. His weight on top of her a lovely reminder of the last time she’d felt truly happy before now. As he looked down at her with hunger and passion and disbelief while he let his fingers dance along her skin. He murmured words of desire as he let his lips follow where his hands had traveled, marking her with his mouth, tasting her as her body longed for him.

He could barely breathe, barely find it in himself to slow down. An instinct, a desperation to have as much of her as he could before she inevitably disappeared. As she had always done recently. Disappeared just as he’d kissed her, just as he’d watched her eyes close as he’d pushed into her, just as he’d finally felt somewhat at peace again. She’d disappeared, and then he’d woken up. Usually in a sweat and with his heart racing for all the wrong reasons. His heart pounded now too, as he looked at her beneath him. Warm and flushed and gorgeous as she looked up at him with passionate, trusting eyes. He kissed her. Heard a long gasp as he settled between her thighs, nestled inside her as he let himself feel it all. It _felt_ different. Different than all those times. Wet and warm and safe and real as he moved against her slowly. Growing impatient and hot as her legs pulled him in and her words spurred him on. _Faster. Harder. Just like that._ Familiar words. Sighs and groans of pleasure and approval, everything he’d longed for for so long.

She let every thought go. Let him fill her and push her to the edge and draw her back again as she reacquainted herself with his body. Kissing and biting his lips between meeting his thrusts. Giving herself to him completely as he made love to her slowly. Sweet torture as he smiled at her, all sweaty and sexy as he groaned against her mouth, biting her lip until she could almost taste blood. 

His hand slid against her arm, pushing it behind her as he laced his fingers with hers. Just as before. Their little habit. The one that had told them both that maybe it had been more than convenience. More than simple attraction or trauma or hate sex. Any of the things they’d tried to tell themselves at the beginning. She wrapped her fingers around his, molding his hand to hers, clutching onto him as she felt white hot heat spread in her body, all the way down to her toes.

David panted as he lay spent against her, breathing rapidly into the curve between her neck and her shoulder. Kissed slick skin as he felt her leg wrap around his. He smiled. He closed his eyes, sighed and rolled them over, leg firmly around him as she shivered. He grabbed the other blanket and pulled it over them both before making himself comfortable against the pillows. His head resting against her chin as she traced lazy circles on his arm.

“I miss a lot of things from my old life, but I missed that most of all.” She laughed a little, planting a quick kiss on his chest.

“I knew you were just using me for my body.” 

“Room service, was it?” She looked up, meeting his eyes as they shone towards her. “That you called yourself?”

“Aye.” His eyebrows furrowed. “My feelings got a little hurt.”

“So I gathered.” Julia smiled as she reflected, slowly tracing the scars on his back as she sighed contently and rubbed her face against his chest. She closed her eyes and let her fingers dance along the small dents and valleys on his back.

“You were the first person to touch them who isn’t a doctor.” Julia eyed him curiously as her fingers stopped. “I used to be indifferent to them. And now I'm not. Not when you're touching them.”

“I thought I might have some. But mine seem to be healing well.”

“I’m glad you’re healing. I dreamed about you so much, obsessed about the case so much... I don’t think I’ve slept much for the past 7 weeks.” He sighed. “My body got used to being next to you, and it liked being there, so when it went back to how it was before I just couldn’t cope. And the investigation was difficult.”

“My mother said there are rumors you almost shot Aikens.” David looked down at her, surprise and concern on his face as she leaned back and stated quietly. “She hears things. I assume from Roger.”

“Aye.” He nodded. “I almost did.”

“_Why_?” Julia sat up, pulling the blanket with her as she leaned back against the sofa. David followed, placing his arm behind her as he looked at her intently before he finally answered.

“When I was trying to find them, those bastards that tried to kill you... I knew that perhaps my feelings for you went beyond just...” He took a deep breath, steeled himself to voice out loud the words that had never been said before, not even in his therapy sessions. He still kept some things to himself. “But I had become more involved than I thought. People had started to notice how much I cared about you. I shouldn’t have been allowed to be on the team, I _was_ too involved.” She touched his check, caressing it gently as he kissed the palm of her hand before he continued. “I fell in love with you, Julia. I didn’t intend to, and then they just took you from me. So I wanted to kill them. And I almost did.”

“They didn’t get me, David.”

“Aikens stood right in front of me and I could have. I’m a good shot and he was right there. He would have been dead in a second, easy. And I wanted to.” His pulse had begun to race as he'd started to explain, and he held onto her hand, trying to force himself to calm down as he said quietly. “I still want to.”

“You would have been in prison. You wouldn’t have been here. He would have won, David.” 

He nuzzled her face, sighing softly as he pressed a long kiss to her forehead as he whispered. “Please don’t leave me again.”

“I’ll remind you that you said that when we argue.” She tried to joke, to ease the troubled look in his eyes, and regretted it as she said it. His hand clutched hers as he forced her to look at him, eyes full of tears.

“I’m serious. You can’t... Don’t leave me again.” 

“No,” She shook her head as she squeezed his fingers. “I won’t leave.” 

David lifted his arm off the sofa to cradle Julia’s head as he pulled her to lie down with him. Wrapping himself around her before he made sure the blankets covered them both. Chewing on her ear, tugging it between his teeth as he felt a heavy fear leave him. Not a dream. Still there. He suspected she’d have to reassure him again in the future.

His stomach growled loudly and Julia buried her head in his arm to stifle her laughter. She kissed his lips briefly before leaving the warm comfort of his arms to slip into the bathroom. She came back with a silly grin on her face and a large duvet in her arms, dumping it on top of him before she walked into the kitchen. David felt his heart leap as she returned with a bottle of wine and a plate full of chilled egg salad sandwiches. She left the plate in his lap before finding her way underneath the warm covers.

The cold wine felt like a blessing down her throat as she handed it to him and watched him take one big sip and wiping his mouth before handing it back. She left the bottle on the floor and leaned in to kiss him, tasting the dry fruit on his lips as she grabbed a sandwich from the plate. They sat there, mostly in silence. Eating egg-salad and salmon sandwiches, drinking wine, while remarking on how very badly the two things go together – yet not caring enough to get up and fetch something else. Enjoying a moment of easy togetherness. Julia placed the plate and the empty bottle of wine on the table as David leaned in to kiss her neck, flicking his tongue against her skin as he pulled her down with him again.

“The best sandwich I've ever had, thank you.”

“Liar.” David hummed against her neck, whispering a denial in her ear, his arms around her tightly as he felt her begin to relax against him.

Julia caressed his arm, gently and repeatedly as she looked around her cozy little cabin that suddenly felt a bit more like a home. She had no idea what would happen when David would have to leave. If she could ever even entertain the thought of going back home, live in London again, if it would ever be safe. But for now, this was enough. He knew. She wasn’t lying to the one person that mattered, and that would be enough for now. They could figure out the rest when life returned to normal in the new year and he’d be forced to go back.

As Julia dozed in his arms, David watched the dwindling crackle of the fireplace as the snow danced outside the windows. Her hair brushed against his cheek, her breaths deep and steady as she laid against him, her back warm and heavy against his chest as she slept soundly in the residual heat from the fire. His heart felt light and heavy at the same time. Light with the relief of having her in his arms, still very much alive and so very much his. But heavy with the remnants of grief and the depth of his emotions. Julia stirred, moving against him as she tuned around in his arms. Her face nestled in the crook of his neck as her warm breath tickled as she slept soundly.

He was glad his mother hadn’t so much as protested when he’d lied and said he’s changed his mind and wanted to spend Christmas with an old friend. Asked her not to wait up and that he might see her for the Christmas party at Aunt Sue’s. Might. He didn’t want to make any promises he thought he might break. And his mind had still been reeling, he wasn’t sure if he would be able to lie very well. His visit had been a surprise to her, he’d imposed himself on her plans out of boredom and sadness more so than her actually needing his company. And he felt pretty sure his extended family wouldn’t miss him much, after all, he hadn’t spent Christmas with them since he was still living at home. 

David looked at the sleeping beauty in his arms. Leaving her was out of the question. He hoped he wouldn’t have to confide in his mother at all, at least not yet, about the 5’10 long secret that was currently warm and alive and asleep in his arms. Wanted to keep her his secret for now. 

David had spent many more weeks without Julia than he had with her. Yet still, at present, he couldn’t imagine anything more unthinkable than leaving her on Christmas morning. He could offer her no presents, no food, no traditions to show for like the ones he’d told her about back then. But he didn’t care. _They_ were the gift. The circumstances that had led them there, was the gift he’d never even dared to ask for. 

Outside of finding a few things he could tell his children he wanted for Christmas, David had never really had wants. He was always just fine. Always trying to make it through the week and never one for extravagances, even at Christmas. And now he couldn't stop thinking of all the things he wanted. He wanted to never leave that cottage. To surprise her with a lavish breakfast as Christmas movies played on the telly. Kiss her good morning and let the morning turn into way past lunch before they untangled themselves from each other again. To christen her shower and let her beat him at card games and spend hours in her bed until he’d fall asleep with her and then wake up next to her again. He wanted to tell her all his secrets and find out all of hers. He wanted a life. With her.

The winter storm outside brushed against the windows, speaking a quiet hello to remind them the world was still out there. Julia's eyes opened and closed again as she drifted back to sleep, and he instinctively whispered words of comfort, pressing his lips against her forehead as he repeated over and over: “You’re _safe_. You’re safe. You’re safe.”

_He'd found love where it wasn't supposed to be._

**Author's Note:**

> I started this a long time ago, with the idea of them on the two sofas opposite each other. How time had allowed their feelings to settle and even deepen, simply because their time together was too intense to properly allow them to see it. 
> 
> As time passed, I thought about this song a lot as I wrote, and it became the inspiration: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj6V_a1-EUA


End file.
